Pornhub, a site that hosts video content consisting of… I’m just kidding, I’m not actually going to spend any time explaining what Pornhub is. If you truly don’t know, ask this site’s editor-in-chief, Steve. He’s an expert on it.
Thursday, December 14th, Pornhub released a plethora of data showing what topics, genres, stars, and many other descriptors were the most popular searches in 2023. It was basically like their own Spotify Wrapped, except we all have to pretend we don’t know who any of the indie artists are instead of pretending we totally do.
What Were the Top Pornhub Searches of 2023?
A lot of the information unveiled wasn’t shocking. Searches for “AI” and “robot” grew by a whopping 304%. Kind of comforting and terrifying to know that the world’s new obsession with AI is affecting literally every industry, and not just the one where I write clickbait articles.
The term “soldier” was also up an enormous 332%. The site believes this is due to the multiple wars that have become mainstays in the media over the last year, and I believe that the internet was clearly a mistake.
I’m not going to take the time to list out all the rest of the genres, names, or nationalities that were most searched, but I simply wouldn’t be a top-class journalist if I didn’t address the fact that the term “granny” went up 132% from 2022.
Even worse, every single video that comes up from the search is your grandmother.
That last sentence isn’t true. I know you probably know that, but everything else here is and I don’t want to risk knocking the credibility of the rest of this piece just to take a cheap shot at your sweet grandmother.
The New York Post, which tackled this subject before I, a pervert, could, reached out to Pornhub to ask if there was any known reason why the search topic of grannies was up so much, but Pornhub unfortunately didn’t have an answer, saying that as far as they could tell, it was truly random.
Hopefully we can get to the bottom of this disturbing mystery soon. If only I’d been able to write this before the holiday season when people visit their families. We could have all asked our grandmas for their thoughts.