Pigs are considered the fifth-most intelligent animal on the planet, ahead of dogs and even three-year-old children. They are gentle, sensitive creatures, and in the state of Iowa, they are on the cusp of a veritable pigtopia, so long as these wonderful animals don’t mind getting a little payback by spilling some human blood.
Right now, pigs in Iowa outnumber humans in the state by a shocking ratio of more than seven to one. As recently as June of 2022, there were 23 million hogs and pigs on Iowa farms, and while that number will always fluctuate to some degree, it will forever be an astounding statistic, and it should be a horrifying one to residents of the state. Perhaps most notably, the pigs of Iowa produce a truly incredible amount of waste – the equivalent of 84 million people.
All of this of course begs the question: Why haven’t the pigs of Iowa risen up to claim the state that is so obviously theirs? With Iowa holding nearly 32% of the nation’s hog inventory, these animals have plenty of leverage should they stage a successful revolution. It’s doubtful they find their current situation of feeding the nation a noble one; if they’re half as smart as science says they are, then it wouldn’t be surprising at all to find that Iowa pigs are just biding their time, waiting for the chance to make their move, take over the Iowa Statehouse in Des Moines, and broadcast their demands to the rest of the nation. Though if that’s the case, what are they waiting for, the vaunted 8-to-1 ratio?
Regardless, ifI was an Iowa resident, I’d always be on edge. It’s not unheard of at all for pigs to eat humans (even including the bones); some pigs in the state have probably gotten a taste of human flesh by default. At what point does it become an insatiable craving?
The pig revolution seems far more like a matter of when, not if. And if you currently live in Iowa, are you willing to take that chance?
